Monday, December 3, 2012

There is a vast chasm between loving yourself and being self-absorbed. Loving yourself is about accepting who you are, warts and all, and making the most of your talents, traits and essence; it is also a position from which you feel secure and have healthy self-esteem, enabling you to reach out to others and help them grow and succeed too. On the other hand, being self-absorbed is the antithesis of healthy self-love. It is about only thinking of your own needs and wants, pushing away others’ needs and identifying only with those people and situations where you will benefit personally from interacting and connecting. A self-absorbed person concentrates only on what will get them ahead in life, a state that is rarely considerate of other people apart from their usefulness. Are you self-absorbed? To some extent, most of us can be self-absorbed at particular times in our lives, to lesser or greater extents. In many cases, we learn that it doesn’t get us the sense of fulfillment we’re seeking and we turn back to caring more about others. However, by staying self-absorbed all of the time, you risk alienating many people, becoming narcissistic and only ever putting yourself first. - Doug Oliver

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