Sunday, January 12, 2014
What's On My Mind Tonight
SO much has been going through my mind today, so bare with me as I'm trying to type out my feelings on similar subjects. Okay, actions speak louder than words. Some people are out of touch with reality and do not realize that there are some people out there who are smart and just don't believe anything and everything one person says through a computer screen especially if they're quite a distance away. Let me say this, I have been single awhile. Yes, I'm over my ex's and yes, I will not just get into a relationship with anyone and everyone. That is why I'm staying single until someone proves to me that they are not a game player. That is why I have been focusing on music, family, and friends. You don't need or have to have a relationship to be happy! Yes, it would be nice to have someone to share my life with, but it's getting harder to come across any real honest people out there. They're out there, but they are a rare breed so to speak. I am talking about in person and not just on the internet. Because we know there is life outside the internet. I have met several people on the internet who claimed that they were looking for a serious relationship, but turns out that they were just looking to play head games and play people. Some were also living double lives. Not everyone is who they appear to be. And that is part of the reason why I'm really only looking for friends online. Trying to find someone online within distance or even a few states away to get to know and see in person and possibly have a relationship with is a waste of time in most cases. Yes, maybe for some people it works, but it hasn't for me when I looked. I'm not that lonely that I'd settle for an online long distance relationship with someone I never met in person. This one guy I've known online for about 2 years who lives on the other end of the country. We would talk and over time got to know each a little bit. And he knew friendship was all I was looking for as I told him on day one. The first few months we'd talk like once or twice a week or so, but for the last year and a half or so it was maybe once or twice every few months. Last time I heard from him before today was in October. Anyway, I heard from him today and he's like "I was here all along hoping you see that I wouldn't hurt you." I'm saying to my self wow okay, where did this come from? He never mentioned anything to me over the 2 years about any interest in me like that. And I told him that and he got all mad and said "yeah, you're right & I'll leave you alone." and got offline. So yeah, that was unexpected. So that right there sounded like some sort of a game to me. Last night I heard from someone I haven't talked to in at least two years..turns out him and his girlfriend broke up awhile ago and he wants to talk to me again. It's annoying when people ignore you for so long and then expect you to be buddy buddy or even expect you to have instant interest in dating them. I'll be 25 this year and I do not have time to waste on peoples games. I've always wanted a real relationship. No lies. No games. No cheating. Only honesty, sincerity, trust, love, laughter, communication, compassion, compromise, and understanding. So I'm fine and have been fine with being single. Maybe someday I will be surprised.